On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
