Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
