I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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