Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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