He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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