Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
