even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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