are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
