if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml