it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?