Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life