you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.