he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She even gives head with a lisp.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
