i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
