does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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