Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
