Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize