just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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