one word: firstdatebathroomanal
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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