We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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