before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
