I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize