I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize