You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
