I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
