For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize