a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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