when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
