return my video game
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
