like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize