My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize