I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
And then he peed in my hair
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