Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
