you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
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