Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
