Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
