I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
