I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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