i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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