We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Enjoy the penises
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
