just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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