i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
