you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
