The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
