dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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