she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
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