he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
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you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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