2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
