What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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