Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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