Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize