I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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