Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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