can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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