Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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