My underwear smells like fireworks.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I touched a dick in church today
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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