Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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