honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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