I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
