I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
