Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
